Today, something different. We take a peek into the Christmas closets of twelve bloggers to see what everyone is wearing. Should be interesting! If you click on their links or pictures, you’ll find that they each have a category for the 12 blogs of Christmas.
Now I’ve got a game that goes along with this. Every time we sing the chorus, (it’ll be in red), we take a shot. Ready? (And if you’re underage or alcoholic, plan on driving…blah blah legaleeze don’t blame me if you screw up blah…don’t play. Nobody is forcing you.)
My category is the Christmas Closet or in my twisted word-play humor brain: The Clauset. If you twist the doorknob just so you’ll find out what we’re wearing!
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
A redhead with a pair of…legs. Welcome Kelly Stone Gamble, the beautiful, talented author of the soon-to-be-released novel Ragtown and a blog that’ll knock your…um…socks off.
Put that glass down…there’s no chorus here, but kudos on the enthusiasm!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me:
2 cheeky buns…Welcome D.C. McMillen the author of naughty books and a blog with a wicked sense of humor.
D.C.: I know what you’re thinking. I’m an erotica writer so I pull out all of the silky, lacy stops, right? Well, au contraire, mon frère. I am all about the pants and tank. In fact, I take my Christmas PJ’s and underwear ensemble quite seriously. I have a tradition that I stick to every single year. It involves a brand new pair of wildly patterned, Christmas themed flannel pants, a solid matching tank top and a pair of funky Christmas socks. Screw slippers, I say. I have worn this style of outfit every Christmas morning for as long as I remember, with the only marked evolution since childhood being the red or a green cotton thong I now wear under the pajamas. I mean, I’m not Amish! I have to maintain a certain level of sexy over the holidays, even if it is wrapped in penguin print pants.
…and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Remember: Take a shot)
On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
3 great reviews…Welcome Karen DeLabar a great reviewer and interviewer of authors not to mention, a cookie meister indeed!
I do a lot of baking during the holidays. If there is a cookie out there chances are I’ve tried my hand at making it. However, there is one thing that I absolutely need in order to bake… other than my Kitchen Aid mixer, and that is my Santa Apron. I forget how I got it or when, but all I know is in order for me to beat eggs and butter together I need to be wearing that apron.
2 cheeky buns and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Take a shot – it helps if you let your breath out slowly.)
On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
4 calling cards…Welcome Ciara Ballintyne a busy woman who wears many different hats: Writer, blogger, lawyer, friend.
Ciara: When I was younger, maybe 13 or so, Mum had a Christmas T-shirt that read:
‘It’s better to give
a cheap present
than to receive
a cheap present”
My grandmother, being in her 70s or so, read it as ‘It’s better to give than receive’. “Debbie, that’s lovely!” Nana gushed. “Look closer, Mum,” says my mother. After a moment’s silence, the response wasn’t nearly so great. “Deborah, that’s awful!” Notice the change in my mother’s name? She didn’t care. She laughed so hard she had to sit down.
3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Take a shot! You can do it! Make that bear face. C’mon!)
On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
A tri…lo…gy…Welcome Raine Thomas author of The Daughters of Saraqael Trilogy and fabulous survivor of parental humiliation.
Raine: “It just wasn’t Christmas if my mom wasn’t wearing some kind of Christmas sweater. The sweaters would sear your eyes with their vibrant colors and patterns. There was this one sporting a reindeer, complete with a red flashing–yes, flashing–nose. She wore it paired with flashing ornament earrings and a pair of reindeer antlers. I still don’t know whether she was trying to project fun and Christmas spirit for us kids, or just embarrass us to pieces. But I can say that this year, as my daughter is about to turn six, I did go out and buy some reindeer antlers. Why stray from tradition?”
4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (C’mon! After parental humiliation? You know you’ve gone through something simeelarrr. Heh heh. Simeelaarr. I can’t feel my lip. Se la vi! Take a shot!)
On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Six songs a singing…Welcome Justin Bogdanovitch a writer and reviewer of music and books!
Justin: I shivered through too many long Idaho winters. The snow piled so high sometimes front-loaders came to shove the snow off our driveway. One year, a week before Christmas, a huge box arrived from Norway. A relative had been spending the holiday season there. Inside, was the warmest wool cross-country skiing sweater. When it gets cold, I just put it on; coastal Washington is much more temperate — I’m thankful for that. I can’t really wear the sweater around Kipling too much because she likes to chew the fancy clasps. So, this sweater is my favorite holiday clothing and it can go right in your Clauset. Merry Christmas, Justin
Here I am outfitted from Norway and holding Kipling, the long coat German shepherd puppy girl. Kipling is 3 months old in this shot (taken 12/11 — her birthdate is September 9th) and she barks to know if that’s enough time for Santa to even notice her!
A tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Take a…wait a sec…yeah. This is where we take a shot!)
On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Her husband’s heart a-leaping...Welcome Amberr, a writer and blogger who will addict you with her many and varied posts!
Amberr: I’ve never bought myself a piece of lingerie. My husband bought me a barely-there amethyst colored nightie awhile back, and because I’ve always been such a no-nonsense tomboyish sexy type, I don’t wear it often. This year, however, I’ve decided to add a little titillation to my Christmas tinsel, and make my husband forget all about his other gifts. I’ve decided to buy something a little spicier, like the photo featured above, so I can deliver my sexy surprise. When he least expects it, I’m going to sneak off to the bedroom (after the kiddo is loooong asleep), change into this little number, and wrap myself with a ribbon and bow. Then I’m going to text him to come collect his gift in the bedroom. Even if I end up giggling, rolling my eyes, or otherwise ruining the mood with my awkwardness, he’ll still have fun unwrapping his “present.” Hehe! Merry Christmas!
Six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Oh my gosh that’s a hot outfit. Take a shot! Down it!)
On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Natalie: I hate shoes. I pine for the first sign of spring so I can wear sandals because that’s the closest I can get to bare feet. If I could walk around barefoot all year, I would. But, I live in New York, so that’s not going to happen. It gets cold here in winter. So, when I received a pair of toe socks for Christmas, I was in heaven. They’re better than slippers on the brick floors in my house. Plus, they’re purple and have a little sheep on the toe. Who doesn’t love sheep?
Her husband’s heart a-leaping, six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (What were we doing again? Hold on…another?) <burp and grimaces>
On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Matching dresses…Welcome Erica, none other than the Daywalker series author!
Erica: From as far back as I can remember, my mother made my sister and I our Christmas outfits. They always matched (even though we were three years apart) and they were always different year after year. I remember getting very excited to put on the new special outfit on Christmas morning for the annual picture. I don’t know when this practice ended, but I’m fairly certain it was around the time I developed my own fashion sense. Well…maybe a few years after that. I can sort of remember being mortified by the handmade dresses at least a few times. What I wouldn’t give for Mom to whip me up a Christmas dress this year. Unless, of course, she’s reading this, in which case she should ignore that statement and make me quilt instead.
Sheep sewn on a sock, her husband’s heart a-leaping, six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Wait…I need some pizzzza)
On the tenth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Tweety Bird and Tom Cruise…Welcome Marie Patchen zombie unicorn wrangler and writer fantastica!
Marie: The holiday season is that time of year when the ugly comes out. Ugly sweaters, awful sweatshirts, and other repulsive holiday fashion statements that sit in the closet all year long waiting for that special time of year when the mothballs are put up and we adorn ourselves in their hideous splendor. My closet is no exception to this rule, and I am the proud owner of a hand – me -down sweatshirt that my late father loved to wear at this time of year. It is dark green, and features Tweety Bird in all his canary yellow glory dressed as Scrooge with the words “Ba Hum Bug” dancing around his head.
Several years ago, I had a chiropractor who liked to treat people to a free birthday back-cracking, and I’m never one to pass up a free back-cracking. So a few days after my birthday, I dressed in my comfiest holiday finest (Tweety Bird, and a pair of old baggy jeans that were far too short, showing off my obligatory ugly Christmas socks) and headed to Montrose, Colorado for my birthday present. It was December 21st. The streets and the stores were packed with holiday shoppers, and I was already regretting my choice of attire.
Little did I realize how much I was about to regret it.
On the way over, my cell phone decided to die on me, and so I had to take a detour to the local phone store. As I pulled into the parking lot of the plaza, I noticed some rather intimidating looking security types coming out of the sandwich shop next door to my intended destination. That wasn’t so strange, given that stores probably had hired extra security to deal with the last minute shopping. I figured that it was a bunch of guys on their lunch break and headed up the sidewalk towards the phone store, visions of a new cell phone dancing in my head.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear, but a short little man filled with holiday cheer sweeping out of the sandwich shop in a flurry of excitement. “Merry Christmas!” he called to the people inside, and then he turned to see me. He smiled, held the door open wide, and with a welcoming motion asked me, “Going in?” He looked me up and down and his smile grew wider (no doubt in amusement over my unfortunate holiday fashion statement), and I just stared back, stunned, wondering why the hell he looked so familiar to me.
“No… I’m going to the phone store,” I smiled hesitantly, starting to walk on. “Thank you, though.”
Several steps away from him, it finally dawned on me who had just held the door open for me. I turned around to confirm my belated recognition. That short little man filled with holiday cheer was none other than Tom Cruise, and he was still looking at me with an amused smile on his face. He might have just been waiting to see how long it would take me to recognize him, but I’m fairly certain it was the ugly Christmas getup I was wearing that had kept his attention.
The moral of this story, my dears, is: Be careful when adorning yourself in your garments of hideous holiday splendor and venturing out into public. You never know just who you are going to run into.
Matching dresses, sheep sewn on a sock, her husband’s heart a-leaping, six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Okay…I can do this.) <sways and holds onto table>
On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Buckled latex on a torso…Hi everyone! My turn!
Maureen: No, this isn’t me, but something very similar appears from time-to-time in my home.
Tweety Bird and Tom Cruise, matching dresses, sheep sewn on a sock, her husband’s heart a-leaping, six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Stumbles and catches self then gives a goofy grin)
On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me:
Twelve-toed socks…Welcome Melody-Ann Jones Kaufmann! Writer, Internet security, and a fabulous person.
Melody-Ann: Toe socks rock! My favorite piece of Christmas clothing is a pair of Christmas decorated toe socks. Several Christmases ago my mother bought me a pair as a joke. The joke was on her. I loved them. They are cute, fun, and most importantly keep your feet warm. That’s a big deal for me because we tend not to wear shoes inside the house and I hate having cold feet. My youngest agrees with me – he loves Christmas toe socks. He steals mine every chance he gets because our feet are the same size.
Buckled latex on a torso, Tweety Bird and Tom Cruise, matching dresses, sheep sewn on a sock, her husband’s heart a-leaping, six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. (Falls on face then lifts head woozily)
Ready for the last chorus?
Twelve-toed socks, buckled latex on a torso, Tweety Bird and Tom Cruise, matching dresses, sheep sewn on a sock, her husband’s heart a-leaping, six songs a singing…a tri…lo…gy! 4 calling cards, 3 great reviews, 2 cheeky buns, and a redhead with a pair of…legs. We should have known better what with Santa’s red nose that we’d never beat him at this game. (Lights out)