Well hello Frank! Step right on up into The Zen Corner dugout. Mind your cleats, there are cats around here somewhere.
(Darts eyes around looking a bit scared)
Wouldn’t do to have holes in their tails. It’d be a whistle fest around here for sure.
Frank:
We could invent a new breed: Wiffle Cats! But seriously, I always enjoy the smell of pussy (cats) first thing in the morning.
Bwhahahaaaa! Stop the presses. STOP the presses! (Pulls out ultra secret whistle from chain around neck and blows)
(Large Amazonian woman with muscles comes out carrying the ultrasonic super-plush reclining chair of bliss.)
Sit HERE Frank. You are now an honorary Zencornerian of the highest order. You do indeed belong here. Let us recline. (Reclines in chair and relaxes.)
Soooo we hear you’re a baseball guy. We really dig men who know how to run the bases.
Pipe down back there. I meant actual bases. Like, you know, the ones that are stuffed and sort of hard and…
(Crickets and then loud hooting from audience)
Don’t mind the snicker seat section. They’re harmless. We had restraining belts installed after the last interview and the open bar incident.
Frank is the author of Almost Home, a tale of what happens after teenage angst washes away into college dorms full of everyone trying to make a go of it. That’s actually a pretty condensed synopsis there. There’s a stripper and a pole…
(Eyebrows raise, head turns, and eyes focus back on Frank)
Did you ah…have to do a lot of research for this chapter?
Frank:
Well, it would have been considered a dereliction of my duties as a writer if I didn’t conduct a lot of first-hand research in order to write that scene properly. Being a novelist is nothing but hard work, really—and Def Leppard tunes, VIP rooms, and champagne. It’s a horrible life, when you think about it. But as a big fan of David Simon’s, there was no way I could write this novel without the proper authenticity in every detail.
David Simon, the KING of authentic writing? We are humbled by your references and hold our glass of champagne high! Let’s see, there was a love triangle and…(digs deeper into the book), oh my goodness! Hot coeds too! Yes, I can see that um…my my my! (clears throat)
Before anyone gets any ideas, his book actually dealt more with two baseball players and the personal challenges facing them throughout a season. The Zen Corner did a review of the book here. In fact, throughout this book I couldn’t help but taste J.D. Salinger subtly whispering to your psyche a bit. Has he been a big influence in your writing?
Frank:
That’s actually the best compliment someone could possibly give me. I’m a huge fan of Mr. Salinger’s, to the point where I’ve even gone to the Princeton University library to read some of his unpublished stories (including the somewhat infamous “An Ocean Full of Bowling Balls.”) I’ve also gotten copies of some of his letters and other unpublished stories from the Harry Ransom Center at the University of Texas.
So, yes, I would say that Mr. Salinger is a rather large influence on my writing, and if that shows through, then that pleases me immensely.
Why oh why did he pull An Ocean Full of Bowling Balls from Harper’s Bazaar? January 27, 2060 cannot come soon enough! Truly we are honored that one who has read this greatness now reclines in our presence!
All that honesty put down on a page with modern stabs of the vernacular. I liked it! When you started this book, were you looking for a dystopian feel or did it pop out and your characters led you that way? It just seemed like nothing wanted to go particularly right for either of your characters.
Frank:
Well, I think that comes from the plot development that follows the choices the characters make throughout. I kept trying to give them perfectly good choices to make, but they refused to do so, and so they had to live with the consequences of their choices. As do we all.
As a reader, I was rooting for them both, I really was.
Yes, I especially liked the very last page. Very good sir. Very good.
As unlikely as it seemed, the two main characters became ‘frenemies’ during the course of the book. Did you see that one coming?
Frank:
Not originally, no. The Budski character really grew in stature over the course of time I was developing the manuscript, to the point where I decided he should be more or less equally represented alongside Enzo. Once THAT happened, it seemed more exciting to have these guys be connected on different levels so that the drama between them might be more thrilling and impactful.
I also think the concept of “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer” is something fun for a writer to play with.
Sun Tzu? The Art of War? You are wise grasshoppah. Wise indeed.
Almost Home is told from the perspective of two protagonists, each giving a first person point-of-view in their respective chapters. Did you find it hard to switch gears, so to speak, between chapters?
Frank:
Yes, it was, and I used a combination of corkboard on my walls, colored index cards, and artist drawing paper to keep it straight, especially at the beginning. When I got more into it, though, I really enjoyed stepping into each character and seeing events happen from their eyes. I also thought it would help the pacing of the novel for the reader to experience things from alternating points of view, and allow the reader to “miss” each character a little bit, until we got back to them.
So, really, it was a lot of fun.
(Nods sagely) Oh but the joy of creation! So colorful and cluttered in its organized chaos. Truly a writer’s heaven on earth. (Hands you large index card-sized post it notes as a gift)
Alrighty then! (Stands up) Time for a new segment in honor of our esteemed guest on The Zen Corner: Running the bases! (Dons ultra cool baseball cap)
Just stand at the home plate. There you go! Now if you answer this one, you get to go to first base. Second: Second base and so forth. You ready? Oooo but I always wanted to be a pitcher!
I SAID pipe down out there! Really, pay the crowd no mind Frank.
First question: If you had to choose to play a sport that wasn’t baseball, what would it be?
Frank:
Professionally? I’d have to say football. I’m into the gladiator nature of it, and I’m a born quarterback, anyway. Plus, I’ve been watching football movies like Any Given Sunday and Remember the Titans lately, so I may be a little hyped up about that sport right now.
We here at The Zen Corner are HUGE football fans…HUGE! Nothing like watching the modern day arena of warriors bashing it out. (Waves big foam finger)
Alright, that one was tricky, but the base coach says we made it.
Second question: Who is your favorite person to sing Take Me Out to the Ballgame thus far?
Frank:
I don’t know if you’ve ever been to Chicago or know who Harry Caray was, but I think he was a uniquely American icon, and his versions of the song are my favorites.
(Gasps and has near heart-attack) THE Harry Caray? The Seventh Inning stretch singer? Wrigley Field will never be the same again. NEVAH! (Slurry voice) Nevah, agin wll thiiings be proownounced the same. Nevvverrr.
Here’s the dilemma Frank. We have an opportunity to steal third base or wait until the next batter bats. Which do you choose? And be forewarned! Stealing third is going to be infinitely harder than waiting.
Frank:
Steal third by timing the pitchers idiosyncrasies and going from a short walking lead into full-sprint theft mode. Also, use a clever hook slide to evade the enemy forces (a.k.a. “the tag.”)
(Jaw drops at Frank’s athletic genius)
Regular: Peanuts or Cracker Jack?
(Cracker Jack – Gotta love candy that comes with a prize.)
(Blows on arm to dry tiny rubby tattoo.) Absolutely!
Stealing third: In 1984 there was a meal served. It consisted of a feast of your favorite foods. If you were able to time warp back to that table and be the age you are now, what is on that table AND which dish would you dig into first?
Frank:
My family had something we called a “garbage pie,” a name which hides the food’s deliciousness. It’s a homemade pizza with every single topping you could possibly imagine on it. I got lucky—I grew up with an Italian mother.
(Drools) Lucky INDEED! Change of plans! Everyone! Holiday dinner at Frank’s mom’s!
Alright now we’ve made it this far pretty much unscathed. The pitcher! Their attention is diverted elsewhere! Should you? Should you go for it? Now if you steal home, you’ll have to answer two questions. If you wait, only one more. Your choice.
Third question: What baseball player would you like to do a biography on?
Frank:
My favorite baseball player of all time is Ted Williams. Like most of my heroes, I think he was completely misunderstood by the general public due to his unique, hard-to-categorize personality, which people tend to have trouble dealing with. In my opinion, he was the greatest hitter who ever lived, including Babe Ruth. (But I do recognize that Ruth was a better all-around player.) “Teddy Ballgame” also has the most tragic flaw a world-class professional athlete can have – a complete lack of post-season success.
So, I think he needs a sympathetic biography written about him.
Anyone who can be in the Baseball Hall of Fame AND the Fishing Hall of Fame DEFINITELY has a story that needs told. That’s not even going into his wartime combat service stories. Wow! Yes! We here at The Zen Corner hope that you will someday be able to do such, someday.
Stealing Home question: How would you liken publishing a book to baseball?
Frank:
Obviously, I think all writers are trying to hit a homerun. And that homerun is a profound connection with the reader through the vehicle of the novel. I can only hope I’ve done that with ALMOST HOME.
He has done it! He has made it ALL the way home!
(The crowd roars)
Team! Attend us! (Claps hands and a large ornate key sitting on a home base plate is brought out by coeds dressed in baseball uniforms.)
We here at The Zen Corner wish to present you with this key to…NOT the secret Marie Von Trap ballroom…no! We have a NEW secret room. Yes! It has been kept under wraps behind the most diligent codes of silence enforced with green nail polish and noogies. We bring it out now because we’ve found we MUST. (Goes to the mantle and presses thumb and finger in an intricate series. A door slides open revealing The Three Stooges Hall)
YES! It is true! The The Three Stooges Hall is fashioned with only the best for sports-minded literary dignitaries such as yourself! Feel free to help yourself to all the pie you want! (Whispers) I think you’ll find the pie is not only aerodynamic, but tasty as well.
Thank you for joining us here Frank, come back anytime!
