Stacia Carlton

The Zen Corner is fortunate today to have the lovely Stacia Carlton as a guest!

(The crowd roars gladiatorial style)

Have a seat! Why we even had the chairs cleaned of cat fur just for you!

As you all know, Stacia Carlton is the author of A New Set of Rules where her character Julianne is recently divorced, her husband having left for his pregnant girlfriend. We reviewed it here on The Zen Corner this past week.

(Leans forward)

Tell me, Stacia. We’re all curious. How did he live? It’s not that we advocate violence, but…really, given the circumstances: How did he go unscathed? Weren’t you just the wee bit wanting to, (I don’t know), poke him in the eye at least?

Stacia: “Hi!  Thanks so much for having me! Don’t worry about the kitty fur…I have three cats of my own! So Ewan…hmmm…well let me start by saying that if he were Stacia Carlton’s husband, a poke in the eye would be only the beginning! But Julianne, well she’s a pretty cool chick and she had emotionally detached herself from him by that point. She saw it as a blessing (maybe not even in disguise)  Ewan had unwittingly provided her with an escape, and being the straight from the hip kinda chick that she is, she wouldn’t have felt right about playing the indignant wife.”

Sorry about that, please get settled, it was just the, (heh heh), Burning Bed question floating around in the attic here. Honestly, it’s refreshing to see a mature attitude about the dissolution of a relationship, but this book goes beyond the relationship and focuses on the choices that Jules takes after this has all occurred.

What prompted you to write A New Set of Rules? Was it something that came to you just poof?

Stacia: “You know I’m so pleased you asked about how the storyline came to me…It all started a few years ago when my favourite partner in crime and I started spinning some silly stories, just for fun you know? Over a glass of wine while we waited for the kids to finish up swimming lessons etc.  We created these two semi screwed up characters and just had fun building their lives…sort of our way of staying out of trouble I guess.  Julianne just wouldn’t leave me alone…I couldn’t get her out of my head and so I continued her story on my own.  I wanted her to have some resolution.  I also wanted to address some of the issues for her that I felt deserved some attention (ahem hello Alexi!)”

(Pauses to drool about Alexi)

Alrighty then…in the book we see a lot of drinking. Woo-hoo! We’re big fans of that on The Zen Corner! Everybody! Open bar!

(Crowd does a mad dash to the back)

Sooo…Stacia. (Twiddles thumbs) Yeah. Sorry about that. Guess I didn’t think that one through. They’re animals. What? Hold on a sec. (Taps headset) You say we’re still miked in? Oh heh heh. Not that it matters. Pretty sure they’re not listening right now.

Everyone settled back in? Good, good. Okay then. What I was GOING to say before everyone got all tipsy, I mean antsy was…what’s your favorite wine?

Stacia: “Mmmm wine!  Yes, wine does make it’s appearance with some frequency in the book doesn’t it?  A bit telling I suppose but there you have it!  I enjoy a nice buttery Chardonnay generally, but a big hearty Cab is always a treat…oh and Amarone…well a lovely bottle of Amarone is a particular weakness…so I guess all that to say, ummm, I like wine…the liquid kind!”

Cheers on that (Clinks glasses)

And ooo…the Romanian guy. (Wipes brow and readjusts glasses) Woo-hoo! Was there someone who inspired such a hottie?

Stacia: “Alexi is rather delectable isn’t he?  I’m going to say that he’s a compilation of many men all rolled up into one perfectly delicious package, but if I describe who those men are, then he will cease to be the reader’s fantasy…I want him to be every woman’s perfect guy…not just mine.”

(Squirms in seat)

You did ah…you did a good job on that there Stacia. And while we’re on the subject of hotties and other such eyecandy page turners, let me just thank you for the bathroom scene. No, no questions. Please, ah…no questions.

(Looks around the room) Don’t look at me that way. It was HOT.

Now about you Stacia…

Beaches, high-rises, deserts, or forests oh! Or snow?

Stacia: “Hmmmm, that’s a tough one…would it be a cop out to say all of the above?  I get bored quickly…oh wait, I enjoy change, yeah that’s it, I enjoy change…I choose all of the above!”

(Nods sagely)  Yes, why choose when you can have it ALL!

(The crowd lights their zippos in appreciation of wisdom)

War and Peace or He had a Good Piece…no don’t answer that. Sorry. (Slaps hand) I’m telling you, the scenes made me a little, (adjusts collar), moving onwards!

If you had a billion dollars, which charity would you promote? If you had to pick one and only one. (I know…doozy, huh?)

Stacia: “A billion dollars…mmmmm! Red Cross for sure…so many wild and wooly things going on in the world and they spring up so unexpectedly…The Red Cross does so much good for so many in need and they never seem to have enough.”

A very good choice there. I once volunteered for them. (True story) I got kicked out for bad timing of jokes, but we won’t go into that. Whaat? Like you haven’t ever referred to the hematologists as vampires?

But then…after all the charity, where in the world would you go just for fun?

Stacia: “For fun? Paris, New York and Montreal, probably in that order…then to the south of France for some rest and relaxation after all the wild partying and shopping.”

(A gong sounds)

Yes. She is one of us.

(Claps hands)

Attend her!

(Attendants enter with the posh ottoman)

Put your feet up fellow Zencornerian. Let the lavish surroundings envelope you. Comfy? Good. Good. Now tell us, what is your pig-out meal; when you take the brakes off and just let it fly?

Stacia: “Food!  I’m so happy you asked!  I think about food constantly…I dream up what I’ll eat next WHILE eating the current meal.  I’d have to say that a gorgeous rich, creamy pasta would be very high, but I have a somewhat abnormal desire for cured meats…Prosciutto in a cream sauce over rotini.  Mmmmmm. Then a huge bowl of really good vanilla ice cream smothered in maple syrup!”

Oh. My. Yes. Yes! Let us all bask in her wisdom of all things culinary.

(Everyone bows their head reverently)

And then of course we need to follow up this last question with, what is your favorite exercise routine?

Stacia: “Exercise! Also glad you asked…my routine is a bit, ummm OTT (perhaps cuz I’m a little OCD!) So I do 40 minutes of hard sweating cardio (spinning usually) first thing in the morning, before breakfast (which I think about during the entire sweat fest). Then later that afternoon I head over the the gym for an hour of strength training. That’s five days a week, I only do cardio on day six and rest on the seventh.  Sounds loopy I know, but I really do enjoy it, and as you can tell with the relationship I have with food, well…but you know all the exercise really helps me have a clear head for writing.”

(Crickets)

We are AWED by your dedication! Everyone DANCE!

(Rocky theme music and everyone running in place like champions)

I see you have two more books in the works! Any more sex scenes, I mean intellectually enriching posits?

Stacia’s book, just for your heathens in the snicker seats back there isn’t all about sex. It deals with a woman faced with changes in her life that she takes on with grace and dignity. Come on! Let’s try to be a little dignified in here so pipe down barbarians! (Psst: Really, anymore of those scenes in the next one?) (Taps mike) They heard that? Oh…ah…

Stacia: “I’m really focussing in on one of the two books, they have a way of taking over, for me anyway.  It features Julianne’s brother Dan, who you meet in A New Set of Rules.  He was another of those characters that just wouldn’t stop talking in my head!  I love him and so I’m giving him a little time.  And yes…sex…lots and lots! I’m so thrilled that you enjoyed the scenes in A New Set of Rules.  They’re an awful lot of fun to write I must say!  I’ve heard quite repeatedly that the only thing wrong with the sex scenes that I write is that there aren’t enough of them, so I’m remedying that in this new book.  It’s a great storyline too.  One of obsession with a little guilt thrown in for good measure. It’s a little darker than A New Set of Rules but not without humour entirely. It’s a story told through three different characters point of view.  It’s really fun to write!”

I guarantee we’re looking forward to…um…let’s just say it’s fun to read and leave it at that. (Stares down audience daring them to say a word) Glad to hear Dan is coming back onto the scene. Sooo want to read more about him!

Well! Anybody who can write like that deserves a key to the Marie von Trapp ballroom! Dance across my eyes with that stuff any day. Any day!

(Heavenly chorals and an ornate key on a pillow is handed over)

Now everybody! DANCE!

(Cool leg-flippy dance moves and of course, dirty dancing ensues)

Thank you Stacia! Come back here anytime! To see more of Stacia, (shakes finger at snicker seat section), visit her website! She can also be found on Twitter: @staciaEcarlton

Stacia: “Thanks so much!  This was really fun!  You’re a funny chick!”

(Opens a bottle of wine and hands it over) Thanks! You’re one great writer!